Entrepreneur Akshata Honawar who married Mayur Aggrawal says she doesn’t quite identify with the series despite being a progressive, privileged Indian woman

Since watching Netflix reality series The BIG Day (TBD) a week ago, she feels the portrayal of India’s multi-billion dollar wedding industry is far removed from reality.

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A Condé Nast India production, the three-part docuseries follows the lives of six couples—Divya and Aman, Nikhita and Mukund, Nitin and Ami, Pallavi and Rajat, Aditya and Gayeti, and Tyrone and Daniel—leading up to their big day. It’s a show that’s fully aware that it’s an OTT fantasy, one meant to whisk you away to a land of outrageously fine costumes, baubles and vistas. The cinematography captures the most delightful details of the wedding day— the church wedding of same-sex couple Tyrone and Daniel in Germany, in particular, moved this writer to tears. Divya and Aman in episode 1 focus on a green wedding using eco-conscious options, and employ local crafts and communities—it is a conversation we are hoping young Indians will have. 

Ajoy Advani

As far as semi-scripted reality television is concerned, it’s a swooning spectacle  with a few LOL moments. But it could have been more. The “real couples” premise raises expectations, but the episodes gloss over the insular lifestyles of the super-rich, ultra-glamorous and extremely westernised Indians, effectively peddling a prototype that’s far from representative. 

“The couples speak for a minuscule fraction of the population that indulges in jaw-dropping displays of excess. The sustainable wedding focus [Divya and Aman] is interesting but also left me wondering about the ensuing waste from the elaborate sets designed for other weddings featured in the show. I’d have liked to see a palace wedding alongside a modest one with an intimate guest list, perhaps,” Honawar says about the first two episodes. 

Aditya Wadhwani and Gayeti Singh feature in episode 3 of the series

At a time when the world is struggling with an economic downturn, weddings have been pared down, and with several couples choosing a court marriage, TBD seems a tad uncer- emonious. Ajoy Advani, creative consultant and founder of Stray, an independent brand management firm, calls it “a home video with couples parading their clout and money”. “Can’t believe we are still doing that! There is more to Indian marriages than Alice in Wonderland themes and flowers flown in from China. However annoying and regressive, Indian Matchmaking [the reality show on Netflix] explored a social narrative that touched on our culture and sparked off conversations. It’s the reason why Sima [Taparia, matchmaker] aunty came across as irritating, but I was invested in her as a viewer. This show [TBD] didn’t stick,” he adds. 

A sanitised display also means that the weddings in TBD are free of hitches, conflict and family interference. Advani thinks the glitches would have in fact added a funny human touch to the show. With the sole exception of the elegant Gayeti in episode 3, the parents of nearly all brides express only fleeting disappointment at skipping customs. 

The episode titled, All you need is love, features the wedding of same-sex couple, makeup artist Daniel Bauer and Tyrone Braganza

The real worry is that for the show’s makers, empowerment is a token. The presence of Type A brides—Pallavi and Ami— isn’t challenged by diverse opinion that counters their narrative. Pallavi, the “bridezilla” speaks about equal gender rights ad nauseam, but quickly hammers it down to a women’s issue, while Ami’s sense of status comes from assessing her big day on “deliverables”. 

The show’s next season, Celebration 2, featuring three new episodes will release in March. “They will be as beautiful and entertaining and equally progressive,” informs Alex Kuruvilla, its producer. 

Shaadi mein zaroor ana

Netflix fans and soon-to-marry couple Shiksha and Anant took to social media to tell the platform that the “misleading and pathetic” show has “generalised the collective aspirations” of Indians. They have invited the show’s creative team to their ceremony in Varanasi this April for a glimpse into the real Indian wedding.

‘We need to be less cynical’

Alex Kuruvilla, producer of the docuseries, responds to criticism with the argument, “it’s entertainment”

The criticism: That the series presents a single albeit exclusive version of India that is palatable for western audiences.

The response: These are real weddings of real people. They were chosen for their beauty and progressiveness. We had no intention to control the narrative or preach. Our approach was not to tick off every aspect and angle of Indian weddings.

The criticism: The choice of subjects embraces the idea of capitalism as inherently romantic, indulging in a Karan Johar-approved brand of pomp.

The response: We’d happily settle for a comparison with a Karan Johar film. His films have been blockbusters, which have entertained audiences for decades. We never conceived this show as one that would represent communities or ethnicities. They are just beautiful modern Indian weddings. Period.

The criticism: The series is both praised and despised for daring to launch in the midst of an escalating health crisis, with social comments questioning extravagance in times of austerity. 

The response: Everyone needs an escape even if it’s 40 minutes, and the visual spectacle and beauty of Indian fashion, jewellery, creativity and ceremonies is only to be marvelled at. There’s a healthy debate on the show and constructive criticism is always welcome. The fact that the show quickly moved to No 1 and continues to trend is testimony that the audiences are loving it. I think we need to be less cynical and not read too much into a show that simply seeks to entertain.