Nilanjana Bhowmick’s curiosity about the lives Indian women lead, led her to research the book. Pic/Nishad Alam

“I have seen her [my mother] struggle... trying to juggle two lives. Mine wasn’t any different, despite having help and a job that allows me to work from home. I realised that I still needed to pay to get help and support, so basically, I am paying a lot of money to just keep working.” The vicious cycle, she says, doesn’t end. “And sometimes, you wonder if this is how it’s supposed to be.”

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A survey by Deloitte conducted last year, revealed that “Indian women were amongst the most overworked and underpaid in the world”. Bhowmick makes a mention of this in her book, blaming it singularly on India’s patriarchal system. “Indian men are lazy... it’s as simple as that. They are entitled, and are not brought up to understand that cooking, cleaning, and looking after the children are life-skills, and that they need to be co-carers in a household. Unfortunately, this has been normalised through generations, even in progressive homes.” That India has one of the lowest female labour force participation rates in the world, despite growing economically, explains her concerns. “Hostile public, personal and professional spaces discourage them further,” she says, adding, “I mean, I don’t understand why a big deal is made about ‘period leave’...The problem is that women are trying too hard to fit in work spaces created for men. When, in fact, work spaces should be gender responsive.”

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Solutions need to come from the government, with policies and programmes that make women equal stakeholders in the labour force, she thinks. “We have some of the best policies for women in place, but we haven’t created a conducive situation to make them feel welcome. Men control all the resources, and they are making all the decisions. How would you know what women want, if you aren’t ever going to even ask them? Take the example of ASHA workers or women working in the Anganwadis [free childcare centres], for example—they are still voluntary workers earning a measly income. Why should they provide their services, if it’s not worth their while?”

Bhowmick also looks inward, making this book as much about herself, as about other women. She discusses the burden of her grandmother, a widow who died by suicide; her mother’s guilt and quest for happiness, and dealing with her own trauma. “I did face the dilemma about how much to tell... talking about myself has always been part of my healing process. But I wasn’t sure whether I should be speaking about my mother or hers. When I told her about it, she became very emotional. Until then, she didn’t feel her story even merited being written about. She was just glad I noticed the life she lived.”