Let’s try and look at why each of these so-called problems is really an opportunity when observed from the right perspective. Take nepotism. If sons and daughters of successful people don’t emulate their parents and step into their roles, isn’t that an insult to our way of life? Doesn’t it go against everything we have been taught about our culture and tradition? Doesn’t it spit in the faces of ancestors who may or may not have been corrupt or incompetent?

Consider politics. What will happen if we begin electing men and women based upon merit instead of who their parents are? Won’t society as we know it be at risk of collapse? It stands to reason that these people have been taught how to pose correctly for photographs, hand over government contracts to the right kind of supporters or deploy just the right communal statements before every election. Isn’t it wrong for all that learning to go to waste just because some of us are touchy about nepotism?

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Corruption is another issue. Let’s use the management of some popular games, for example. Should a person be denied the option of managing a game and deciding the fate of all players just because he or she has never played the game in question? Should he or she be accused of corruption just because his or her parent happens to be a minister at the Centre? The very idea is absurd because, as so many forwarded messages on WhatsApp prove time and again that sportspeople shouldn’t be allowed to make decisions about sports. Cynics may say this is why a nation of one billion people embarrasses itself at every Olympics, but I believe we are getting better on the international stage. I firmly believe we will dominate the Olympics within a few hundred years, at the same time we will become a trillion-dollar economy and the world’s most important nation.

Finally, that old complaint about incompetence. Our honourable ministers have repeatedly laughed at this ridiculous issue. What some call incompetence, the wise call intelligence. An intelligent young Indian who can’t find a job because unemployment rates are higher than ever can easily start a fast food stall and become a millionaire. He or she may know nothing about fast food, cooking, or running a stall, but should we call someone who takes that plunge anyway and starts selling pakoras outside Dadar station incompetent?

It is time we acknowledged and celebrated the fact that we are one of the few countries left on Earth where the truly incompetent can still rise to positions of power and find success. We don’t need degrees, experience, intelligence, a conscience, or even morality to get in the way of fame and fortune. There are examples of Indians who have pulled this off at every street corner, if we stop and pay attention. Just look at the hoardings with their photographs and applaud, the next time you see one.

When he isn’t ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira

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The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper