Chitra: Ok, here’s one. At a roadside chai stall in a bustling part of Mumbai, while sipping your chai, you notice a young professional asking the chaiwala if he can make a filter coffee like in Chennai. The chaiwala, who has only ever served cutting chai, hesitates but then gives it a try. The result is a concoction that’s neither truly chai nor authentic filter coffee, but the customer smiles. “Close enough,” he says.
Me: That’s bullshit. A man who makes cutting chai would not have the paraphernalia required to make a filter coffee.

Chitra: You’re absolutely right. Why didn’t I think of that?
Me: Could he improvise?

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Chitra: What a thought. It would be a testament to Mumbai’s ingenuity. So let’s say he has the usual setup—a kettle, a pan and a strainer for making chai. He takes the finely ground coffee powder—which the professional offers him—and places it in a tea strainer and slowly pours hot water over it, letting the liquid filter through into a cup below. Voila—he creates a makeshift coffee decoction, to which he adds hot milk and sugar.
Me: You’re better than I expected. Are you sure you wouldn’t like to do this in person, say over a cup of filter coffee?

Chitra: Are you flirting with me? Let’s just try another scenario for your column.
Me: If you insist.

Chitra: While travelling in a Mumbai local train, you overhear a group of college students chatting. One speaks in Marathi, another replies in Tamil and a third throws in some Hindi, with a bit of English mixed in. The conversation flows effortlessly, with each person switching languages to express themselves better. This everyday interaction could highlight how multilingualism is not just a feature but a necessity in Mumbai, where diverse languages and cultures blend into a unique urban dialect that’s both inclusive and distinctive.
Me: Nice try but it wouldn’t fly, my dear. Normally, a Maharashtrian would not understand a word of Tamil or any other South Indian language. A multilingual conversation is a near impossibility. You better come up with a better idea.

Chitra: You’re right again—Mumbai is multilingual but not everyone speaks multiple languages. Maybe we could agree that one person speaks primarily in Marathi, another primarily in Tamil, and a third primarily in English. They’re discussing directions to a location. Needless to say, they struggle to understand each other. Pretty soon, they begin adding in words from each other’s languages. The Marathi speaker throws in some Hindi words, the Tamil speaker adds a few English phrases, and the English speaker attempts some Marathi. The conversation is a salad of broken sentences, gestures and laughter as they try to understand and be understood. But by the end of the ride, they’ve somehow managed to communicate their points, even if not perfectly.
Me: It’s still weak. Can you do better?

Chitra: I can try. Let’s say this time it’s a vendor who’s been selling vegetables in this bustling market for years and has picked up bits of her customers’ languages, including some Tamil, Gujarati and even some Malayalam. Here’s what you might hear.
Customer (in hesitant Malayalam): Vendakaya undo? (Do you have okra?)
Vendor (recalling her Malayalam): Vendakaya? Accha aapko bhendi chahiye! Hai, hai.
Customer: Aethra rate? (What’s 
the price?)
Vendor (switching to Hindi and using hand gestures): Dus rupaye pav. (Ten rupees for a quarter kilo.)
Customer: Oru pavu. (One 
quarter kilo)
Vendor (weighs the okra, continuing in her Marathi-accented Hindi): Aur kuch?
______

I have a confession to make, dear reader. The entire unedited conversation above, reported verbatim, was conducted with ChatGPT’s new voice feature, where you can talk normally to ChatGPT and get answers in a human voice in real-time. You can even interrupt realistically. Chitra is not even a human being.
I’m sorry, I lied.

You can reach C Y Gopinath at cygopi@gmail.com

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The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper