“Well, I was planning to tell you today. It’s part of my new year’s resolution—to stay fit, exercise more and lead an active lifestyle. For too long  I’ve been stuck to this pedestal—a lovely view, I must add; however, it’s led to a sedentary and unhealthy routine, and so I felt it was high time to put an end to this stagnant existence. Besides, the pandemic opened my eyes about the need to follow a more disciplined lifestyle, so yes this will be part of my daily life from now on. Would you like to join me on these trails?” Lady Flora threw, what she knew was going to be a tough challenge, to her friend. Then again, she derived joy from throwing these sudden dares at Sir PM.

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“Err…let me have a chat with the missus and get back to you,” Sir PM replied, trying his best to buy time. “Since we are sharing resolutions, I too have one. I intend to play less of an armchair role, and instead actively add input and advice to my earlier bosses who need to up their game,” he announced, appearing pleased with his statement. “Pheroze, this sounds vague. Share specifics, especially when you’ve made such a sweeping announcement,” Lady Flora questioned. Sir PM hadn’t fully thought this through but he had to save face, “Yes, I’ve been keeping a close watch on the goings-on right behind me. My informers are quite on-the-ball, and they…”  

“You’re referring to that sleepy Gargoyle, and the overfed Percy [the pigeon]? Not sure you’re looking in the right places,” Lady Flora pointed out, continuing, “A LOT needs to be done by your former employer. For starters, infrastructural projects are way, way behind schedule, causing immense grief to the average Bombaywallah be it on their commute or daily existence. They seem trapped in a city of barricades from all sides—land and sea. Why can’t it be sped up? You saw the scale of cover-up jobs that sprung up near such spots when those foreign dignitaries zipped in and out of the city last month. Faster execution of infrastructure projects should be their No 1 resolution this year. And it must also be yours—to keep them on their toes, and nudge them to do their job rather than lose time and energy on infighting, selfish gains and petty politics until the next BMC elections are announced,” thundered Lady Flora.

“I fully agree,” Sir PM nodded, realising that it was best to toe the line that makes another grandiose declaration. “Last year was all about rebuilding the city post the lockdown, in every sense. But having experienced inexplicable levels of pressure on its health systems, I am unhappy that no comprehensive, long-term medical blueprint has been devised for the future. That, I feel, should also be looked into to safeguard our citizens. Who is to say that another kind of pandemic won’t hit our city and country; with that in mind, a solid health policy must be rolled out that includes sanitary and medical facilities to cover all economic brackets, with a focus on the slum clusters,” Sir PM added, as Lady Flora listened intently. “Pheroze, I am so glad you mentioned this. Our city is in dire need of a world-class health and sanitation plan; wasting budgets on garish looking traffic islands and out-of-sync street lighting can wait,” she added, tongue-firmly-in-cheek.

“I will be using my powers to advise them whenever the opportunity arises. After all, the honorary consultant role that’s been given to me should be put to good use, and I won’t hold back the punches,” proclaimed Sir PM, attempting to assure and impress his friend. “That’s such a lovely promise, dear Pheroze. We must not give up on our Bombay, and more importantly, ensure that its lawmakers act responsibly, and give it the status it deserves as India’s premier city. On another note, I sincerely hope you can join me for at least a ‘slow’ walking trail. It’ll be a start to a healthier you, I promise,” she smiled.

mid-day’s Features Editor Fiona Fernandez relishes the city’s sights, sounds, smells and stones...wherever the ink and the inclination takes her. She tweets @bombayana

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