Also read: A bitter truth behind the white sheets

“Why would you say so, my Lady? I thought it was remarkable that the city turned out all nicely scrubbed and vibrant to welcome these guests from different parts of the world,” Sir PM enquired, keen to hear what his pragmatic and sometimes opinionated friend had to say. “Well, you see Pheroze, Bombay is often touted as the financial hub of India; gateway to India, and so on, but its streetscape is a woeful contrast to these hefty taglines. A walk down any of our main roads will reveal this reality. Until last week, large parts of the city and the suburbs wore their usual, neglected avatar, and then as if under a spell, so many key areas underwent a miraculous transformation. Overnight, posters, banners and swathes of white cloth sprouted along major highways and under flyovers to cover the mess. The masterstroke [to save face], I thought, was to use those eyesores—for the ultimate cover-up job—was to ensure those unsuspecting delegates didn’t get to spot those garbage dumps or tobacco-stained barricades along the Metro Line work,” added Lady Flora. Sir PM’s face looked as if he’d seen a ghost; clearly, he realised he had missed this big observation that his friend had shrewdly brought to his notice.

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“Now that you mention it, you are so right. It all makes sense. In South Bombay, Gargoyle was telling me how all of the façades of important buildings wore a spruced-up look and were lit up at night; the streets were washed clean. My cousin Shiraz, who lives in Bandra, tells me that he never saw that new space…what is it called…ah, yes! Bandra Kurla Complex, get such a massive whitewash complete with fresh coats of paint along footpaths and traffic signals,” Sir PM added, hoping that his informative rejoinder would help him save face.

Lady Flora was pleased that her friend at least saw things a tad differently after her valid judgement. “I heard that certain approach roads to and from the airport were repaired overnight; even locations near the National Park got a facelift,” she added. “National Park? Why there?” enquired Sir PM? “That’s where you’re not paying attention, not joining the dots, my dear Pheroze. You see, the areas and routes that come in the line of vision of these international guests are the sole beneficiaries of this large-scale whitewashing exercise. They had visited the green lungs, and hence that area got the nod. Beyond that, everything else is the original that we are used to seeing, where we don’t rub our eyes in disbelief.” Sir PM was trying hard to conceal his smile, “In fact, I wasn’t surprised that by the second day, Percy (their messenger pigeon friend) came back to me with information that he spotted several areas along the stretch where paan had already returned to grace the white posters.”

“Clearly, we will never learn. Either the city will need a constant influx of international visitors where it is part of some global initiative because apathy seems to be ingrained in our DNA,” sighed Lady Flora, adding her critical sign-off, “It’s not as if our civic authorities cannot spruce up the city. A switch needs to turn on in people’s heads. I fail to understand why we need to have a global meeting for them to act fast. After all, it’s our dear city that will benefit in the long run.”

mid-day’s Features Editor Fiona Fernandez relishes the city’s sights, sounds, smells and stones...wherever the ink and the inclination takes her. She tweets @bombayana
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