Not everyone is as excited about this as I am, which is okay because not all Indians will agree on how their taxes are to be utilised. Some want more toilets and hospitals, which is a fair demand, but one that does nothing to remind us of the most honourable Prime Minister who will decide who is to have a toilet or hospital, and when. It’s what makes the selfie booths such an important part of governance.

According to an RTI reply, each temporary selfie booth costs a mere R1.25 lakh, while permanent ones cost R6.25 lakh. Each booth is supposed to have a life-size cutout of the most honourable Prime Minister and highlight the government’s many achievements. I must admit that I am intrigued, given how impossible it seems to reduce our government’s unending list of accomplishments and successes to a few short lines. I can only imagine they have recruited a great writer from one of the world’s most famous universities in Gujarat or thereabouts.

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Another development that improved my chances of a selfie came from an initiative by the Ministry of Defence. I assumed the ministry would be busy with things like the possible encroachment of Indian territory by hostile foreign powers, but I was wrong. Their decision to focus on setting up 822 selfie points came as a pleasant surprise. It reassured me because I understood the message that was being sent, loud and clear. Only a country that is safe and secure can afford to spend time on manufacturing photo opportunities. That was the message, and I applauded it. It is another reason why, decades after independence in 1947, it is only now that we can all sleep soundly at night.

The ministry has suggested all kinds of locations for the selfie points, including tourist destinations, war memorials, museums, public transit stations, airports, markets, schools, and colleges. In other words, there will be few corners of India where the most honourable Prime Minister’s most honourable visage will not be visible. I foresee being able to click selfies with him at every kilometre and have no doubt that millions of my fellow countrymen will react the same way. I propose a committee to track the presence of these selfie points and create an app that can help us all find them more quickly—a ‘Where’s The PM?’ app, possibly funded by the Ministry of Defence as part of its defence goals for 2025.

My wish is for everyone in India to see the most honourable Prime Minister wherever they go. I want tourists to spot his face on the tarmac before they land and imprinted on hot air balloons surrounding their planes as they depart. I want them to recognise this as an ancient land of art and culture, as well as a land that may be home to a billion people but just one real celebrity worthy of being treated like a god.

When he isn’t ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira
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The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper.