I could see why a Modi Circuit may soon become the sort of tourism campaign most countries on Earth will struggle to replicate. I predict millions of tourists spurning the Eiffel Tower and Statue of Liberty for tickets to the tree where our Prime Minister stopped for a swig of water during that gruelling television shoot. It makes me hope that other ministers will extend the idea to encompass the entire country. Why stop at Uttarakhand alone when our Great Leader has spent years criss-crossing every corner of India? Every press conference with journalists has failed only because he has been busy travelling, all of which generates opportunities for those clever enough to exploit them. What stops the governments of every state from creating their own versions of the Modi Circuit and diverting tourism from other countries to their towns and villages with this superior attraction?

What I wouldn’t give for a guided tour of the pond where our Prime Minister fought crocodiles with his bare hands as a child, lifting them out of the water and tossing them on dry land like brittle twigs. What I wouldn’t give for a chance to sit in his classroom at that famous university in Gujarat offering degrees in Entire Political Science. It makes me think of the millions who send their children to Oxford or Harvard and how they can be convinced to choose Gujarat instead, with a simple offer of a free lecture at that fabulous university. I imagined purchasing a ticket to stand outside his mother’s home on some public holiday, if possible, just to catch a glimpse of him and his public relations team.

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And then, I thought, why stop at the Prime Minister alone? Why not create tours for other ministers and popular politicians? Imagine the excitement a ‘Shah Circuit’ would generate, if one were to map the comings and goings of our honourable Home Minister. Or an international ‘Irani Circuit’ that would allow visitors to stop by the entrance to Yale University before flying back to a nice bar offering great cocktails in, let’s say, Goa? The possibilities are limited by our imagination alone.
A high ranking official of the Uttarakhand state tourism department described the Prime Minister to journalists as the ‘biggest influencer in the country’. All they wanted to offer tourists was a chance to have the same experiences he had. I wasn’t completely sure about wanting the same experiences, because communal riots tend to leave a bad taste in my mouth, but I realised I wouldn’t mind being driven around in a fancy German automobile, or try playing with peacocks, if only for a few minutes, because it would allow me to get a better sense of what it meant to lead a country. Maybe tourists could be allowed to record their observations for radio too: like a Mann ki Baat, but featuring many minds instead of just half of one.

I have no idea when the Modi Circuit will be fully operational. I imagine the Jim Corbett National Park in Uttarakhand may need to be uprooted and redesigned in some way, to better show off some of its locations, but that is just speculation on my part. Maybe it won’t need a complete overhaul. It’s not like Parliament, after all, so we won’t need something like the Central Vista Redevelopment Project.

When he isn’t ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira

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