I tried empathising with the students but couldn’t. Yes, they had probably been through some horrific experiences. Many had struggled to find food and water, apparently, and there were also reports of students being denied entry at multiple checkpoints because the colour of their skin didn’t meet predetermined European norms, but that shouldn’t have prevented them from expressing the right amount of gratitude for ministers standing with camerapersons to welcome them. Trauma and escaping a warzone shouldn’t get in the way of reverence for politicians, because down that road lies chaos.

Students who study abroad need to understand that they are already an irritant for Indians back home. As the Prime Minister pointed out a couple of weeks ago, there is no reason for them to study in another country to begin with, given the overwhelming number of world-renowned universities and colleges already operating within our borders. These rankings may not be public knowledge because everyone knows how envious the West is of our academic prowess, but students here should know that any local Vidyalaya is capable of offering more than Oxford or Cambridge can. It’s merely a question of perspective.

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This is why I believe state governments should take it upon themselves to issue brochures on protocol to every student departing for a course of study abroad. They should be handed over to them along with immigration stamps on their passports and should list the things they are expected to do in the event of any future emergency requiring evacuation. If there’s a minister waiting to greet them at the airport, for instance, students must be required to stop and bow down reverently. They should smile at all times in the presence of media personnel and government-appointed PR agencies, because those photographs broadcast the right image of India abroad.

A smiling student being brought home tells the world that ours is a country that cares. We care about our students and will do whatever it takes within reasonable limits to try and make sure every one of them is safe. It’s how we got through the COVID-19 pandemic without losing more than a few hundred thousand lives. I also suggest students leaving the country be given T-shirts with photographs of the prime minister or ministers representing their individual states, so that they can be worn on arrival. They make for great front-page photographs.
Lastly, I believe we should encourage all the students we know to give up plans of studying abroad, preventing the need for evacuation in the event of a war. Students who study in India don’t have to worry about more than the usual amount of racism and can safely get home during a communal riot without the need for government intervention. It allows our ministers to focus on more important things such as election rallies.

Our students also need to appreciate homegrown degrees more than they currently do. It’s why I, for one, firmly believe that a Masters in Entire Political Science is worth more than any degree offered by Harvard, Princeton, or Yale.

When he isn’t ranting about all things Mumbai, Lindsay Pereira can be almost sweet. He tweets @lindsaypereira

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The views expressed in this column are the individual’s and don’t represent those of the paper