If you are wincing, still trying to rub off all those Holi hues from your face, it is time to go from grimace to grin. After all, these are dark days for the world and warrant a burst of sunshine-y nonsense. So, after
several weeks of being oh-so-serious, it's time to shed the cloak of sanity and revert to what this columnist is wondering...

Whether one camera tells another: you are such a loose cannon.

Whether you know that Prince William's soon-to-be-wife Kate was once dubbed Waitie Katie as she waited for William to propose and was once part of an all-woman rowing team.

Why cats are not afraid of cancer or heart attacks, because after all only curiosity kills the cat.

Whether an international consortium of horses is known as the United Neigh-tions Organisation (UNO).

What could one do if a waiter came to your table singing: hum bill de chuke sanam

Whether one thermometer could one day tell a startled doctor: you give me fever, fever when you hold me tight.

Why boys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses if love is blind.

Whether dhobis always give wishy-washy excuses.

Why a grandfather's clock cannot apply for senior citizen benefits? Why when the rest of Bollywood tries to look young; Vidya Balan tries to look 20 years older than she is.

Whether a bottle of hair dye takes insulin as it is dye-betic.

What India's well known ornithologist the late Salim Ali would have thought of the fact that some models were wearing makeshift sparrows on their heads during the recently concluded Fashion Week.

Whether you can make out which scam and probe is the latest one since that is all that is going on in the country these days.

Whether some chillies in a South Mumbai market say a little loftily: We are Posh Spice after all.

Why Indian cricket captain MS Dhoni should not become a brand ambassador for Mumbai's Py-Dhoni(e).

Whether a trolley which is a kung fu expert, could be called Troll-Lee.

Whether you've heard of the slogan for Weight Watchers: The lard moves in a mysterious ways.

Why chess ace Viswanathan Anand cannot be called a little like Shakespeare, the Board of A-Won.

And talking about Shakespeare, why Sabira Merchant does not take a tour of Italy so that she could be known as the Merchant of Venice.

Why are you reading this tripe, anyway?