What a bloody waste! Now they are telling me I could have been anybody I liked. Even a pilot. All I had to do was submit a doctored mark sheet.

Thanks to the recent 'blowing the lid off' in the fake pilot licence scam, I feel like a complete loser. Had my career counsellors, relatives, neighbours, soothsayers, dhoodhwalas and chowkidars guided me on time, I too, would have forged a few documents and donned a commanders' uniform. Perhaps by this time even presided over the All India Fake Pilots Mile High Club. But thanks to the Directorate General of Civil Aviation and Delhi Police Crime Branch letting me in into the scheme of things so late, I have missed my bus, in this case my plane.

Now, all the years of journalism training, working under different whip-wielding, fire breathing editors seems like a complete waste of time compared to a pilot's life. Thanks to you, you slimy bunch of cockpit suckers!u00a0u00a0

Ok I confess mine was a difficult childhood. Well, difficult for my parents that is, personally I had a blast like everybody else. So much so that by the time I attained adulthood I too was rendered equally clueless like my folks on what to do with few 60-70 years left of my life. But since I'm here now, you know a great idea did flash through my mind eventually.

But it doesn't seem so 'great' now. Had my school teachers not reprimanded me for throwing paper planes at pretty girls I would have had a joy ride of a career. All I had to do was to learn how to get the plane up in the air. That would have been easy; a few well spent hours on Sony's Playstation would have done the trick.

Getting drunk and flying an expensive vehicle with 101 passengers at your mercy and crashing it into a
township.

Now, that's the kind of thrill, I'm talking about. And facing commissions and inquiries after crashes would have been a cakewalk, because by the time the wheels got into motion I would have switched over to being a politician.

Now we all know, what a gala time pilot-politicians have. And even if I ended up in a tight spot like this once-lauded-now-shunted-by-everybody former IAF man, accused of heading the biggest sports scam ever, all I had to do was ufffd procure and produce a fake document proving my innocence.u00a0