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Updated On: 23 January, 2011 08:30 AM IST | Sandhya Mridul

I'm a 35 year-old married woman. My husband frequently travels on work. Lately, I find myself attracted to another man who is the father of my daughter's friend.

Hi Sandhya,
I'm a 35 year-old married woman. My husband frequently travels on work. Lately, I find myself attracted to another man who is the father of my daughter's friend. He has been divorced recently, and we meet when he comes to visit his daughter at school. We have grown friendly, and have met over coffee. He seems to be sending me feelers too. I'm confused. I love my husband, and could be attracted to this man because I am lonely. What should I do?
Thanks,
Confused wife


u00a0Sandhya Mridul

Dear Confused wife,
Attraction is basic and natural. You could experience it and feel it towards anyone on several occasions in your life, with no logic whatsoever. Just because you love your husband doesn't mean you won't feel attracted to anyone else, ever. It's okay and that's what you have to understand. First, stop feeling guilty about it or turning it into a big deal (at least, in your mind) because it's this guilt that causes confusion, and that can be more dangerous than the attraction itself. You are lonely and have met an attractive man who is giving you attention, so enjoy it. But I cannot recommend an extramarital affair.

It doesn't seem like you'd be able to handle it. You sound pretty messed up already, dear. Besides, he is just out of a divorce, and men in that space want to be free. Maybe he is doing this on the rebound. Do you want to be at the receiving end of that? If not, chill and soak it in. Let him hint all he wants. You keep your chin up, and your dignity and marriage intact!

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