With the first month of the year 2011 already into its third week and the holiday season behind us, this columnist has emerged after the confetti has been cleared up and is wondering...

Whether pressure cookers are entitled to medical insurance in case they have to undergo a 'ceetee' scan?
Why flying hens cannot be called as poultry in motion?

Why Mumbai's gynaecologists do not open nursing homes in chemistry laboratories and start producing test tube babies?

Whether Tibetans who come to Mumbai to sell woollens during this season are a close-knit community?

Why butterfly enthusiasts were not present at the start line of the 42-km full marathon yesterday, to catch the butterflies in so many nervous stomachs?

Whether Mumbai dhobis will be invited for a special screening of Kiran Rao's to be released Dhobi Ghaatu00a0u00a0
Whether you have this on your SMS: if a Laughing Buddha becomes serious he would be transformed into Gautam Gambhir?

Why banks cannot give us loans to buy onions like they give housing loans and people pay them back in Easy Monthly Installments (EMIs)?

Why have we become a nation obsessed with song and dance and whether new born babies in hospitals will not cry first but wail: 'Tees maar khan' as an astonished doctor looks on?

Whether horses love to solve crossword muzzles in the afternoon newspaper?

Whether one pig tells another, you have a rash and need some skin oinkment

What would happen if iconic spy James Bond ever goes on strike and says: The name is Bandh. James Bandh.

Whether you know this joke going around on the Internet that if bar owners were to make movies they would probably have titles like: Seeta Aur Margarita and Soda Akbar

Whether one fish tells the other rather loftily; I swim with an International Baccalaureate (IB) school these days?

Why stars use Botox and not use an iron to smoothen out wrinkles around the eye?

Why everybody criticises the Indian Premier League (IPL) auction but wants to be part of the tourney is some way because of the big bucks it offers?

Whether Dr Ramakant Panda can explain why a pack of cards never goes into card-iac arrest?

Why a clothesline cannot be arrested and jailed for drunk drying as it is always full of so many pegs?
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Why are you reading this tripe, anyway?