In the old days, peeps, even the affluent had that one biggie at the Mahalakshmi Race Course, where beta and bahu arrived in a chopper. Today, the celebrations begin a month before and continue a month later - the cost totalling the GDP of say, Senegal.

And, so, in spite of my denials, the offers kept coming. My Twitter handle was always full of congratulations by guests for the spectacular shots I took at beach weddings in Mauritius and other locales - the other thing, my doppelgänger never seems to shoot simple shaadis in Ghatkopar - only exotic destination weddings. And, so, it came to pass that the Ambani-Piramal shaadi was announced.

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Being the celebrity wedding lensman that I have become, the questions began. "We are told that you will be shooting the Ambani-Piramal nuptials, the Udaipur build-up." So, I replied, "Um, that's not me.

It's probably the other Rahul DeCunha. Why don't you contact him via Facebook?" "No, no, we believe it is you, sir." "Um, I've said that I'm not that Rahul deCunha, why would you think I'd be shooting the highest profile shaadi in the city, even more than DeepVeer and Nickyanka?"
"Because you must be invited to the wedding."

"Why would you assume I'd be invited? I'm not a singer or a performer like Beyonce or a presidential runner-up like Hillary Clinton or a Bollywood star." "But you live in South Bombay," came one of the replies.

My astrology-obsessed stockbroker told me, "Sir your name, Rahul, is very lucky. It is Gautama Buddha's son. Just look at your namesake in politics. He has managed to shake the great Banyan Tree in MP, Chhattisgarh and Rajasthan that, too, with a pet name like Pappu. Bahut lucky hai Rahul Gandhi."

He continued. "There are lucky names and unlucky names, boss. Vijay is an unlucky name even though it means victory. Vijay Mallya would not be in the soup he's in if his name was Rahul. And if he'd added a third 'l' to his surname - Rahul Malllya -he would never have been extradited to India? No way I say, sir." The logic of this line of thinking defeated me. Anyway, dear reader, gotta go. I have offers to shoot Kapil Sharma's and Saina Nehwal's weddings. Must attend to them.

Rahul daCunha is an adman, theatre director/playwright, photographer and traveller. Reach him at rahuldacunha62@gmail.com

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