Working women have become the norm over the past years after once being considered tabooed

Why does societal opinion about identity change drastically depending on success and failure? How do we emerge as a winner despite the hatred? These questions emerge as we chronicle Javed’s transformative journey. We reached out to a few experts to address this global phenomenon and how to tackle negativity. 

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. Psychology professor and practising therapist, Rutuja Thukarul says that women who are confident about themselves and embrace their sexuality are often vilified due to the patriarchal structure of the society. “Women’s autonomy over their own bodies and choices are still not taken into consideration on a larger perspective. Also our societal background affects a lot of our views,” Thukarul says.

Rutuja Thukarul and Neha Singh

. Meanwhile, Neha Gupta, an image consultant and grooming expert, believes that celebrities should take into consideration what the larger majority of the audience wants. “We as a society are still not ready to accept outspoken or eccentric personalities. And while eccentricity may get instant attention, the hype dies down just as soon.”

. Sociologist Neha Singh mentions that while society is dynamic in nature, change takes time. “There are many notions that were considered appropriate or inappropriate a few years ago but are the norm today, such as working women. We need time to accept women in authority, be it socially or personally.”

Perspective is the key

. Social media is an open platform that can attract negativity and hatred such as trolling when one is striving to do something different. Amidst this, Thukarul suggests that maintaining a positive mindset is important. “While positivity is a bigger journey in reality, it is important to embark on it. A change of perspective is essential in these situations.” She advises to not look at  bullying as an attack  but to understand that it comes from a place of insecurity. That helps us to prevent the toxicity from affecting us. She suggests engaging in mentally stimulating activities to stay in a good space.

Focus on your supporters

. Gupta reveals that while getting attention does not require time, what matters is staying relevant. “One needs to keep in mind that social media is not reality. There is a lot of potential outside of this universe and we should not give it the power to dictate our lives. Grooming ourselves in the actual world helps us to gradually move towards our goals rather than giving all our attention to what people have to say on social media.”

Grooming yourself is important to instill confidence. Representation pics

. Singh believes that consistency is the key. “When you are doing something that is not followed by the majority, it may be viewed critically and may also be attacked. While there may be trolls or hate comments, focussing on the ones that genuinely support us is important. And that journey begins from having confidence in what you do,” she explains.

In the hate club

Pic courtesy/Instagram

Thukarul shares that another personality who had a similar journey as that of Uorfi Javed is hip-hop artiste, Nicki Minaj. “Minaj received a lot of hatred as a black rapper when she started out. It was mainly because of her outspoken and bold personality. There was a Nicki Hate Club that slandered her no matter how good her work was. In a similar instance as that of Javed, Minaj became a culturally prominent figure after being featured in a popular magazine.”

Turn the tables

. Thukarul says that although negativity can pull you down, one can turn the tables to their benefit. “You are in a position that has impact on people significant enough for them to be bothered.” She adds that this attitude towards the situation may boost your confidence. Any reaction is better than no reaction as that means your work is being heard and seen.

. Gupta reveals that one should take note of the hatred we receive. “If we get a similar kind of comment, for example, people question the way we talk or the way we walk, examine on why they are saying something. While it might seem difficult to first take on the criticism, once you start viewing them as suggestions to improve yourself rather than as hatred, you can gradually rise above them,” she reveals.

. Singh mentions that having confidence in our work and ourselves is the key. “People can only pull you down if you allow them to. Trolls will negatively slander you once, and if they get a reaction out of it, they will keep doing it. Not entertaining them at all is crucial. It may be difficult at the beginning, but letting yourself focus on your work and simply continue going along the path of what you do will help you to stay positive; it will also help your work to reach the right audience 
in time.”