“The need to distinguish your professional and personal personas becomes especially important when your work leads others to create a perception of you that isn’t necessarily aligned with who you are as an individual. Being exposed to harsh criticism, especially in the public eye, can alter your own perception of yourself. The words you hear can become your self-talk, and affect your self-esteem,” explains Ojas Mehta, a life-purpose coach. He emphasises the importance of not letting your failures and successes define who you are — the basis of your self-esteem has to be internal rather than external, so that your own self-image is not dependent on the validation of others. 

We spoke to creatives from various streams to find out how they strike the right balance.

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Prioritise yourself
Anjana Bapat, plus-size model and stand-up comedian

As I venture into different spheres, from dance to modelling to comedy, I’ve realised the need to prioritise and be realistic about how much time I can devote to each, without burning out. I spent close to a decade hustling and decided that it was time to settle down with a steady passion, just as one would with a long-term relationship. I arrived at this realisation only after missing several family events over the years, which taught me to be conscious about how I spend my time. Cultivating a strong support system helps me to not feel overwhelmed. In terms of critics, my online presence attracts a lot of trolling and criticism, which is the case of anyone who chooses to share about themselves and their craft on public forums. While, on most days, I ignore how trolls react, if the harassment gets too severe, I block them and move on. I also lean on my mentors and colleagues for support and advice. 

Be mindful
Bhushan Korgaonkar, writer and theatre producer

I believe that, as artists, the work we create is for public consumption and hence open to feedback. And so, while I welcome reviews, I never forget that the feedback being offered is for my work and not being directed towards me, as a person. I don’t hold on to the negatives but instead examine if the criticism being offered is valid and if it can help me to do what I do better, in any way. I also find that being prepared can help you to develop a thicker skin — before releasing any new work, I take feedback from those whose opinions I cherish and trust. I may not always agree with, or implement their suggestions, but their comments enable me to make more informed and intentional decisions. 

Disconnect from social media
Nikita Dutta, actor

Social media can be an important and powerful tool to help you progress in your career and connect with newer audiences; but it can also warp your perception of reality and things that really matter. I take frequent breaks from social media to recharge, and insist on being fiercely private when it comes to my personal life. For me, privacy is a necessity as it helps me to safeguard the authenticity of my relationships and focus on what really matters.

Schedule your downtime
Rukmini Vijayakumar, Bharatnatyam dancer and choreographer

When you get carried away by either your work or your personal life, the other invariably suffers. With creative professionals especially, when you are immersed in a project or trying to get ahead in your career, if you don’t pay heed, you can find that you don’t have enough time for your family and friends, or even yourself. In the last few years, I have started to schedule my downtime — a day, a weekend or even a few weeks — when I don’t perform or take up big jobs, and stay at home. In addition to ensuring that I come back refreshed with new ideas and energy to devote to my creative work, this downtime enables me to consciously nurture good and honest relationships. I make a timetable that allows me to schedule both my work, and my personal time. I find it difficult to go with the flow; it’s easier to do both when you plan ahead.

Ask for help
Hitesh Kumar, singer-songwriter

It took me a lot of time to learn to cope with the pressure of finding success in my chosen career in music. As a freelancer, I don’t have a fixed regular income and lining up gigs every month has proved to be a significant source of stress. The lockdown affected musicians in a big way, as our sources of income dried up. I started therapy to help cope with these pressures and that has helped me. I’ve also learned to distinguish between criticism and constructive critiques, and maintain an even keel through the highs and lows.

Work it out

Mehta lays down the following guidelines to find middle ground:

>> Choose wisely: Before taking up an opportunity, ask yourself what it means to you and what purpose it is fulfilling. You can take up roles that you don’t enjoy — whether at work or in your relationships — but failing to acknowledge and appreciate your authentic self will ultimately lead to a dissonance. 

>> Healthy body for a healthy mind: Nutrition, sleep and regular exercise have a tremendous impact on your mental wellbeing. 

>> Invest in yourself: Pursuing hobbies and interests apart from work, and self-care practices such as meditation and pampering sessions, 
are important.

>> Change your self-talk: Practising gratitude and repeating affirmations can change your outlook towards life.

>> Have a support system: Spend time with those who love you for who you are, and not for your successes. Learn how to be your own best friend by standing up for yourself, even if it means displeasing others.

>> Seek guidance: Don’t wait for a burn-out or a breakdown to occur before you seek professional support. Timely check-ins can give you the tools to cope and adapt. A good rule of the thumb is to take a step back when you are not enjoying your work anymore and honestly question what is not in alignment.