Yes, without going into hyperbolic overdrive, we've got to say that the three-month-old Toffee is the kind of roastery-cum-coffee shop that you wish would walk the talk. Especially when you have a rather loquacious marketing manager taking earnest efforts to explain to us their "coffee philosophy". This apparently entails using only premium quality, single-origin Arabica coffee beans from India's coffee heartland of Chikmagalur in Karnataka and then, freshly roasting and grinding it on the café's premises. But here's the kicker. The said manager deigned it important to give us this spiel only when after we had revealed our identity as we needed to co-ordinated the photoshoot for this review, post paying our bill.

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Prior to that moment, we were ignored by the wait staff with no menus proffered when we entered [we had to ask for it] and no options for drinking water presented. In fact, we were never offered any water right through the meal. But that's just the tip of the iceberg!

Chicken Salad

Despite being relatively empty, save for another party of four, our first order took a good half an hour to make it to our table as we sat — surrounded by a swarm of flies — outside the super tiny coffee shop, under an awning that was threating to blow away with every gust of pre-monsoon wind. Our small vanilla latte (Rs 190) had a burnt coffee taste, without even the slightest hint of vanilla, making us wonder if they had perhaps run out of the vanilla syrup as well. Our small machiato (Rs 145) too had that same rancid, burnt mouthfeel. The small-sized Belgian chocolate milkshake (Rs 200) had an unpleasant artificial taste with a granular texture. Over-diluted and once again lacking any flavour, the cranberry iced tea (Rs 190) was left untouched after a few sips.

Staff member creating a chocolate shake

Reminding our dining companion of her school days as a boarder, secretly cooking noodles with hot water from the heater in her dorm room, the mag & cheese made with Maggie noodles (Rs 160) tasted just as rushed and hastily made. Ensconced between two slices of stale buns and served with 10 (yes, we counted!) skinny French fries, the plump chicken burger patty (Rs 190) was one of the only things we actually liked, thanks to it being fresh and juicy, with the right amount of seasoning. But far from fresh were the six cheese corn balls (Rs 180) that had a sour aftertaste. Equally terrible was the dry smoked chicken component of the smoked chicken sandwich (Rs 190), as were the rubbery bits of chicken sitting atop the stodgy, 12-inch chicken dominant pizza (Rs 490). Faring a tad better was the perfectly edible chicken salad (Rs 280) with a mint-mustard dressing that served as a ray of hope on the chicken-dominated food menu that needs some serious rethinking. As for those still-unsatiated caffeine cravings, we rushed elsewhere to get our fix!

AT: Toffee, Shop Number 9, Krishnachandra Road, ONGC Colony, Reclamation, Bandra West.
TIME: 8 am to 11.30 pm
CALL: 7506539555

 EXCEPTIONAL,  EXCELLENT,  VERY GOOD, GOOD,  AVERAGE
Toffee didn't know it was us. The Guide reviews anonymously and pays for meals

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