Aime F, a Bandra resident, believes compatibility in political values is important among partners. “While I don’t limit myself in terms of caste, class or religion, I do screen my dates through the filter of some values that I hold close,” the 27-year-old clarifies.

Many first-time voters believe strongly in individual freedoms. Representation pics

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These political beliefs reflect individual values. Ketaki Joshi, a first-time voter from Bandra Kurla Complex in this general election, remarks, “The political ideas stand for your core beliefs. Your opinions show what you care about.”

Both agree that having an opinion makes a difference. Joshi notes, “I am fine if you have a strong opinion. If you simply don’t care about issues, it is hard for me to respect you.”

Radhika Mohta, relationship coach and founder, Elevate-Dating Accelerator, remarks, “Political values are an extension of your views on life, and core beliefs, and personality. Over the years, the core of a person’s value system tends to remain the same; unless it is shifted by a drastic event.”

Enables compatibility

Coming from the minority community, Aime reflects, “Over the course of my experience, I have realised that it is frustrating for me to date someone on the extreme end of my views. The political leanings are not simply a matter of views, but also reflect their opinions on independence or personal freedoms.”

Differing views

Voicing the male perspective, Mayank Sharma, 22, says, “It would be favourable to have a common view, but it is not a huge disconnect.” Sharma believes that as long as the partner is willing to have a conversation, even on contentious subjects, he is willing to proceed.

Ketaki Joshi, Mayank Sharma and Aaron Fernandes

Vikhroli-resident Aaron Fernandes agrees. “We need to allow people the freedom to have their own ideas.” Fernandes adds that while he can accept a lack of political awareness, it is important that the person must be willing and open to learn about his views.

This sharp difference in perspective from women is reflective of the current age. Mohta remarks, “The choice of a life partner, while it affects both the people, affects the woman much more. Her personal and professional life trajectory is often defined by these individual choices.”

Set a clear stance

Joshi admits many in her friend circle do make these opinions clear on their dating bios or profiles. “It helps them to clear the air beforehand. While I understand, personally I would prefer my potential date to see me beyond my political or social views. It is negotiable in that sense,” she says.

For Gen Z daters, inability to discuss differing views is a red flag

The reason for allowing this space, she reveals, is that it enables a conversation. Restricting it also narrows the dating pool considerably. For Aime, that is acceptable collateral damage. She states emphatically, “As a loud feminist, it is hard for me. I would date someone apolitical; it is a privileged view, and can change over time. But views that deny feminist rights cannot be accepted, and I make it clear from the start.”

The men are more willing to allow such opinions to build over conversation. “Politics is not a daily routine, so I wouldn’t open with it. I would allow the conversation to build and arrive at the discussion naturally,” says Sharma.

Fernandes adds, “I am unaware of a lot of things, and they would be the same. We need to allow time for a dialogue.” Joshi notes, “It is also interesting to have a conversation with someone who holds differing views, rather than always seeking out someone with whom we have everything 
in common.”

Despite that, Joshi concludes, “For me, feminism remains a non-negotiable. It might sound cliché, but that is worth the stand. Others are fairly negotiable.”

The politics of dating 

Dos 
1 Use photographs to communicate your interests; the causes you support.
2 Point out issues close to your heart in the bio.
3 Mention your deal breakers on your dating profile loud and clear.
4 Their ability to take a joke on key issues will reveal more about them .

Don’ts 
1 Do not be afraid to speak out about your passions or ideals.
2 Do not choose a person who lacks a diverse friend group or only listens to an echo chamber.
3 Avoid people who are argumentative and refuse to see your perspective on things.

Inputs by Radhika Mohta , relationship coach