Ritu Gorai and her daughter Sara

Although, in an ideal world, children should have been shielded from these conversations until a later age, when they had the intellect and emotional ability to grasp what they were being exposed to, thanks to their peers and social media, it is an unrealistic expectation. “Younger children, especially, have a very black-and-white view of the world, where consequence is largely determined by the preceding action. They can therefore struggle to understand why innocent people must suffer. Further, repeated exposure to disturbing imagery can desensitise them. It is therefore important for parents to take charge and put forth a narrative that doesn’t just simplify these concepts but also presents them in the right context,” explains Dr Nahid Dave, psychiatrist at Thought Matters. Dr Dave and Gorai suggest the following guidelines.

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>>Let the child lead: To prevent bombarding your child with too much information, establish open communication channels with them so they can approach you with any questions they have. “Be vigilant about what your child knows and where they are getting this information from. Offer to talk them through it and don’t go into any more detail than is essential,” explains Dr Dave. She adds that it’s important for parents to monitor their children’s intake of news. “Make sure that the exposure they’re receiving is intentional; don’t let them be passive recipients of news that’s relayed by a television screen that’s left on all day,” she emphasises. Gorai adds that it’s crucial for parents to be informed with facts and not biased opinions so that they can effectively educate the child.

Dr Nahid Dave

>>Mind your language: Children mirror their parents’ response to stimulus, Dr Dave explains, adding that how a child reacts to an insect or an animal, for instance, will not be too different from their parents’ reactions. It’s thus important to use the right language around children and avoid exaggerations of doom and gloom. “Although it’s a very distressing situation, it’s also an opportunity to teach your child the importance of compassion and empathy. Instead of using alarmist language about leaders, countries or schools of thought, ask your child to empathise with their peers in Ukraine and pray for them,” Gorai adds.

>>Seek help as required: Children express depression and anxiety differently from adults, either by withdrawing completely or exhibiting new-found aggression and hyperactivity. “If you observe any such changes in your child’s behaviour, it’s important to have them screened for mental illness by a professional. Here, it’s important to cast aside your own stigma and biases, and focus on what’s important for the child’s wellbeing,” Dr Dave concludes.

Seek help if you observe

>>Crankiness or anger
>>Continuous feelings of sadness and hopelessness 
>>Changes in the child’s appetite and sleep patterns (either too much or too little)
>>Lack of focus
>>Fatigue and low energy levels
>>Physical complaints such as aches and pains that do not respond to treatment
>>Vocal outbursts or crying
>>Feelings of worthlessness